Tiffanie The Gourmet Chef and Zak the Starving Man

Zak likes to eat yummy food, so I have made it my mission to create yummy food for us to consume. I was so motivated in the beginning. I went through all my cook books and called my mom for recipes. Then I made a shopping list and bought actual ingredients- not microwavables (strange). The first night that I tried a new recipe I tried a Broccoli casserole that sounded easy. I thought I would get creative and add some chicken. I soon realized that my frozen broccoli wasn't the right cut for this particular dish, but I shrugged and pressed on. as I was putting it in the pan I realized (surprise surprise) that I had forgotten one of the main ingredients. So of course I just tossed a little sour cream into the pan. I couldn't put it all back in the bowl to mix it in like a normal person, no I just smeared it around on top. Zak walked by and asked what I was doing and why I was laughing. I told him that is was because dinner looked like Fear Factor. We insisted on calling if Fear Factor for the rest of the week.

I have also been trying to find the Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe. I have tried 3 different times now and all of them have failed. Some were to hard. Some were to salty, some tasted like cardboard. Let me know if you have any advice.

Sometimes I get these weird ideas in my head and I just have to try them out. For example, this weekend I went out and bought a 30 pound watermelon, some cantaloupe and grapes, carried it all up to my third floor apartment and cut it up with cookie cutters. I was just curious to see if it would work and it totally did. Zak and I had fun making little fruit flowers and making a HUGE sticky mess of our whole entire house. It was great fun. We now have about 29.75 pounds of watermelon in our refrigerator for just the two of us.

For more episodes of Tiffanie the Kitchen Disaster, go here.

Jib Jab

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!I wanted to do one too.

Bear Lake

We had tons of fun with my family at Bear Lake. My Aunt Susie and Uncle Scott brought their boys and their boat. The weather was stormy most of the time we were there, so we didn't get to do to much wakeboarding or skiing, But I got up on a wakeboard for the first time ever. When I got up I got so excited that I totally forgot what I was doing and let go of the rope to celebrate. I couldn't get up again because a fresh thunderstorm was moving in and we had to take the boat out of the water.

The storms made for some choppy water and some wild tube rides. My uncle has a HUGE tube that is super stable and we had "Zak versus Scott." Scott would drive crazy and try to make Zak fall off the tube. He only succeeded twice. Zak is tough. I think it scared the younger kids away from riding the tube for a while. We also had "Water Weenie Elimination." I am proud to announce that I, Tiffanie, out lasted both Susie and Zak on the Wild Water Weenie Extravaganza. This event also scared the little boys away from water activities for a while.

It is always fun to watch Zak with my cousins. The oldest, Trevor, is 11 and Zak treats him like the little brother he never had. Which of course means that Zak took it upon himself to swim out to the boat Trevor was on and chuck him in the lake. Ryan, 8, is the extreme sports king of the family. He alone would get on the Tube with Zak for Ultimate Splash Challenge. So fun! McKay (5) and Hayden (2) like to play in the water too and are so fun to play with.

We also went golfing. (HAhahahahaha yeah right. I mean my dad and Zak went golfing and Heather and I drove the carts.) I am an awesome cart driver... and cart golfer. I think we should all start a great game of Golf Cart Polo. That is my secret talent- golfing from the cart. Sorry to all of you golfers- I am that person on the course that is running all over the place like wild and not getting much golfing in.

Yes, I know, very professional. (This is my sister Heather with an orange in her mouth. We were very busy "golfing.")

Oh Glenwood, How I Love Thee So

(Chelsea, Me, Amanda, and Kathryn)

Its time for another episode of "My Crappy Apartment, the College Edition." Just kidding the whole apartment wasn't that bad. It was just crappy because the place was older than I am, and it still had the original mattresses. After the "remodel job" it was advertised as "Park City style lodging." This had me rolling on the floor laughing. The comment was made that the next thing we knew, they were going to put sand around the pool at the Riviera and call it a beach house.

It seems fitting that I do a post in honor of the place Zak and I met. We have lots of good memories of or time there, like the time Zak threw me in the pool, and the time the floor of the lounge collapsed. We spent so much time sitting on broken couches, cooking with crumbling stoves, and sitting in the hot tub of boiling chlorine that we practically own the place. We figured out that between the two of us, with Zak's three years and my two and a half years living there that we paid about $10,000 in rent. That is so gross.

I had 12 roommates during my time in Lodge 70. Chelsea, Amanda, Erica, Katheryn, Liz, Jessie, Blanca, Jen, Jessica, Brittany. Louise, and JoAnna. When you look at it like that, it seems like I chased them all away with my bad breath or something. (Or maybe my alarm clock in the mornings.)

Here are some good things/knowledge that came from my Glenwood roommates: I got out of a $70 library fine (Blanca). I realized that I will naturally never fit into a D (Jessie). I know Yoga better than most people (Amanda). The trunk of my car can fit 3 adults comfortably (Me, Jen, and Amanda). Harry Potter is awesome (Jen). Its ok to change your major 16 times per semester (Chelsea). The Office is possibly one of the greatest television programs of our day (Brittany). Some people are not morning people, and morning doesn't start until 4pm (Brittany). Its ok to work out to Christmas music in September (Jessica). Laughing is better than talking (Kathryn).

Ode to My Roommates

(Left to right: Kelsey, Jen, Sarah, Amanda, Nancy and me.)

Do we look like college freshmen living in the dorms? Yeah, we sure do. This post is dedicated to Kelsey, Jen, Sarah, Amanda, and Nancy of Robison Hall, apartment 128, 2004-2005. We were all so different from each other, it is amazing that we, not only didn't kill each other, but became good friends.

Nancy and I shared a bedroom, and we were polar opposites. For example: (If you know me at all, you will understand!) She was from Arkansas and grew up on a hog farm. Her family didn't eat chocolate- she never really explained to me why, other than it was just a family thing that they did. I had my side of the room plastered in black and white photos, but she said that she liked plain white walls. She went to bed at 10:00pm on the dot every night. (I was lucky to be in bed by 1am back then. There were some nights that I went out at 1am.). She went grocery shopping once in September and once in October and not again until March or April. She kept 5 giant bags of flour under her bed as food storage. Once she hid a barrel of dirt and carrots from her brother's garden in her closet hoping that I wouldn't see them and freak out.

We used to stay up late and read the graffiti under our bookshelves to each other. Nancy always gave really good advice. I am glad that we were friends, even though compared to her, I was a skanky, lazy, party girl with an attitude.

I am still good friends with all of these girls. Jen got married 4 days before me and we planned similar pink and green weddings, both in the Bountiful Temple. Amanda is on a mission in Porto Rico. Sarah and Kelsey lived in Europe this last spring. Its so cool that we are all growing up and doing the things that we had been talking about and planning back when we lived together.

Jane Austen Quiz

I took Jeni's Jane Austen quiz too. I love Jane Austen so I couldn't pass it up. I ended up being most like my favorite character- Elizabeth Bennett! I don't know how accurate it is, but its fun anyway.

"You are Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice! You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of silliness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed."

Take the Quiz here!

MSG-ed

Ok, So Zak and I have this thing where we talk about going to all of the hole-in-the-wall places in Provo. On Tuesday we decided to try out the "sketchy chinese restaurant" down the street from us. It is sandwiched between the world's oldest cheap motel and a tire shop. They had hung a big sign that said "Best Chinese Food in Provo," so of course Zak had to try it.

I had a huge headache that day and smells were bugging me. (I think I have brain cancer.) When we walked into the crumbling building I was almost knocked over by the aroma of molding walls and an old mysterious leak which I found to be running down the wall right next to our table. I felt like I was in the Dark Canyon Cabin again.

When our food came it smelled really good. There was a ton of it, and for really cheap too. We both got orange chicken, fried rice, and an egg roll. I don't usually like egg rolls, but this one was pretty good. The chicken was ok, but the more I ate the more of a stomach ache I got. It just looked and tasted really greasy to me.

If we ever eat there again we are getting take out. I don't know if its worth it though, really. I like Panda- its sanitary, its safe, and its Americanized.

Zak and I are both doing a blog on the experience and we are going to compare, so be sure to check his blog too.

New Information

Item 1:
Yesterday morning I found a note on my car. It said: "Park straighter in the stall, Thanks." Alright sir. They have obviously never tried to park a 1994 Crown Victoria. I am happy when I can park without hitting anyone or anything. They have probably never done a 15 point turn in their little Honda Accord. Bite me Honda! And The best part is, the spot that they were parked in isn't even theirs, its my neighbor's who is gone for the summer. OkOkok maybe I should just drive better, but I sure feel better after taking that one public.

Item 2: (ATTN Jaime, Jed, Mandi, and Paul)
The Freshman Basketball players have started signing in to Study Hall. This means that I make contact with humans for about 2 hours every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Its all very exciting. Yesterday, One of the players was doing a goofy dance to tease on of the other guys, then he turned to me and said, "Lamont was in a movie and he had to do that." I asked what movie it was and you will never never guess what he said... STOMP THE YARD. No joke. Now I MUST see it because he said that he was "one of the guys that did the stuff."

Not Funny

I have a gift. It is called: the gift of saying the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. For example: (one of the many examples I am accumulating...)

One Sunday evening at my In-Laws' house, we started talking about pets. Heidi was saying how she got paid $20 to take their childhood dog to be put to sleep. She was saying how she didn't think it would be hard, but ended up crying because it was so sad to see Woody go. I can totally understand, I love my pets too. It would be so crappy to have to send them to their death. BUT instead of saying this, I open my big fat trap and say "Gee didn't Kent have a job one time when he was the guy that euthanized the animals? Yeah he said they just shoved em all in a chamber and gassed em."

Great Tiffanie. I am so cold hearted. Sometimes my mouth gets going down the highway before my brain can even back out of the garage. I am so sorry!

Home Sweet Home- Work in Progess

Here are some pictures of our apartment. We are still working on it, but when we put up our curtains I just got so darn excited that I wanted to share my joy. The really fun part, however, was to see Zak get excited about the curtains.

Nieces and Nephews

My Wedding Day

Boring

I like my job, but lately all of the athletes have gone home for the summer. That leaves me with nothing to do. This is what I do all day at work.

8:05- Get to work. Because I am there before my boss I finish doing my makeup.

8:15-Read the news paper and cut out anything positive about BYU athletics. Lately the only thing about BYU has been the mop slinging incident involving a track star and a pedestrian (more on that another time.)

8:30- Write in my Journal. Boredom can give way to positive habits.

9:00- Read the blogs.

9:15- Chat online.

9:20- Paperwork

9:23- Read some stuff. Lately it has been Angels and Demons, but I am open to suggestions.

11:00- Watch online TV. Lost, the Office, according to Jim, or Ex-Wives Club (I'm not sure how I feel about this show. It is the kind of thing I study in my major and I don't know if I like their methods.)

12:00- Ask my boss if there is anything going on that I can help with.

12:01- Ask my boss's boss if there is anything going on that I can help with.

12:02- Read the blogs.

12:05- Write a blog.

12:20- Clean the office.

12:25- Eat lunch.

12:35- Read Stuff

2:00- Take a "lunch break." This is the most productive time of my day.

3:00- Get the mail. Everytime I walk down the stairs I count as workout time, so I don't get the mail on my way in from "lunch break." I go up to my desk, get the key, and walk back down the 3 flights of stairs to the mailbox. Then back up the stairs.

3:05- Read stuff

4:50- Clean office, close doors and turn off lights.

4:55- Play Solitaire in the dark.

5:00- Leave work.

If you made it this far, congratulations and thank you for reading. Please lend me suggestions for making the work day go by more quickly.

Chalk Art 2007

Here is the finished product. Its not our best, but it turned out much better than I anticipated. Its 6 feet by 8 feet and the biggest one that we have ever attempted. It took us 12 hours to finish (way too long!) but we did it. Thanks to everyone that came to visit me! It was so much fun to see you all and to feel your support.

3 Mini Posts in 1

Yesterday I got a pair of sun glasses for $1.09 at Allen's the Creepy, WT Grocery Store by Our House. What at DEAL. I am winner for the day! Because of this wonderful find I am going to have to change the name of the place. So now I guess it is Allen's the WT Grocery Store by Our House With Cheap Sunglasses.

I made cookies yesterday for the first time since high school, and they were ok- a bit burned, but thats not really my fault because I think we have really efficient cookie sheets and an oven that over-heats itself.

I UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE HAVE BABIES AT BYU! Yesterday we were talking to someone about BYU Health Insurance and the maternity plan is GREAT. That is why people try to squeeze their first one in before leaving the school. I GET IT NOW. (No worries, friends, it will be a while still.)

Being Hard Core

Our Blanding/Moab Trip was fun. It was the first time I had ever been to Blanding, and I had a good time.

This is Zak being "hard core" in a cute little meadow. He is frolicking.

This is the creepy cabin that gives me nightmares. It was EXACTLY like the episode of LOST when Locke and Ben go to see Jacob. "Hheellpp mmmeee!! (Clang, clang, bang, crash!)"

Newly Weds

Random Thoughts on Being Married

Since Zak has forbidden me from posting my new favorite picture of him, I will just give you the visual. Ahem:

The day we got back from our honeymoon Zak stepped out of the shower and was wearing my little green towel dress. It is a towel that you wrap around yourself and it has straps so it hangs on your shoulders. It was quite the outfit.

Being married is fun. Its like one big long date. Zak is better at being a wife than I am. I will come home from work and the house will be clean and dinner will be sitting on the table waiting for me. I try to cook but I always seem to screw something up. For example on Saturday night I decided to make brownies. As I was getting the stuff out I was remembering the timeI forgot to put the eggs in the mix and thinking, "Brownies- I GOT this! I can totally make brownies." As I was mixing the stuff together (yes, it was from a box) It didn't look right. I dumped it in the pan and it didn't smear around right. Then I realized that I forgot the water (of all things. There are only 3 ingredients to add, how difficult should this be?) So I decided that it would mix faster if I just put the water in the pan with the rest of the goo. This did not work. Then I dumped the muddy water and the mound of goo back into the bowl and salvaged the browines. Problem solved. But who creates problems like that anyway? Just me.

The only thing that I have cooked without the use of a brownie mix or a toaster oven during my month of marriage is chicken enchiladas. They were ok, but not amazing. The chicken came from a can- does that count? I need easy recipes and lots of practice so I don't starve my new husband.

Eldon Mauray Payne

My grandpa passed away on Sunday, May 20th. He was almost 81 years old. My uncle made this site and I invite all of you to visit it when you get a chance. http://www.designsharp.com/mauray/

Here is most of my family. I say "most" because it is missing 14 people, but with a family that size, "most" is pretty darn good.

Elder Mason

This is my darling baby brother, Mason. He left on a mission about a month ago and I miss him. he will be serving the the Canada, Montreal, French Speaking Mission (after he is finished at the MTC). So enjoy a few pics of this adorable stud muffin. I miss him lots.